"I wanted you to FIGHT for me..."

RYAN CABRERA CUT HIS HAIR SHORT. MY BABY HAS SOME SPIKES AGAIN! SOOOO SEXY. You have NO idea how excited I am about this. Jenna was here to witness me freaking out when i saw the pictures! AND if that wasn't enough good news....i find out that Ryan was in GREECE. He was out partying with MY FAMILY probably. Why,why,why was he in Mykonos and I was not?!

***My Thoughts***

• I really want to get one of the tattoos i want this weekend. Hmmm, maybe Dad could take me :)

• I want something pierced too, something different that not everyone has. Maybe i just want something new really bad that's why I am so set on getting a tattoo or piercing, Asap!

• I can't believe tomorrow is already Thursday. This week is flying by, which is a good thing because for some reason i really haven't wanted to go to my classes! Usually I dont mind them but this week I haven't been in the mood for them one bit. Im going home tomorrow after my Lab so I could go to a Rehersal Dinner for the Wedding this weekend. I CANNOT wait for Steph and Andy's wedding! I am so excited...I know its going to be ballinnnnn!

• Love/Lust: Probably the most confusing concept in the world. Lately I have been finding myself thinking about it more and more each day. I feel so lost on this topic...I have so many questions that can't be answered- What am I doing with my situation right now? Am i heading on the same road i did last year? And worst of all...am I going to get hurt again? That's probably the most terrifying thought. I just wish I could say and ask everything I ever wanted, but I find myself holding back. There is a part of me that just wants it...wants it all...the happiness, the title, the petty fights, the memories, etc. A part of me that just wants to SCREAM Why can't we just do it and take a risk?! Reassure me that it wouldn't be a mistake if we did do something about it! Take away all my doubts and fears and just be there for me! Then there is the other part of me that wants to be independant and just enjoy my friends and family right now. I kind of feel like since I have been doing that for so long that I need a change though. Is having a significant other the right choice for me? I often find myself referring back to this quote --- "Trust noone but yourself". I dont know what I'm doing right now but I do know that I dont want to get hurt.

• On a more happy note, I can't wait for tonight -> Wednesday night tradition: Dinner with Lauren, Jenna, and Lindsay at Thomas Dining hall ( mmm, thomas sandwhiches! ). Lindsay has this power over me...she always puts me in a good mood and everytime I am done hanging out with her she makes me want to be a better person. I love her!!!!

I leave you with this quote : "The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs."